The shower beer has its defenders. Here’s why stoners might have the better ritual: built-in water supply, easy cleanup and a second chance at every hit.
Pleasure can be derived from getting high in a shower, a bar of Dove in one hand, a shatterproof bong in the other. Smoke that escapes the bong lingers in plain sight within the confines of the shower stall. You get a second chance to inhale.
Beyond conservation of smoke, deploying a bong in the shower offers convenience. First, there’s a ready supply of fresh water to fill the filtration chamber. Second, bong maintenance is streamlined since when you’re done, you can just pour the cloudy water and ashes down the drain. The entire device can be rinsed in place so it’s ready for upside-down drying.
A bong, which high-end boutiques—don’t call us “headshops”—refer to as a “water pipe,” is more suited for the shower than other cannabis delivery methods. Unless someone invents waterproof paper, a joint in wet hands is destined to get soggy and go limp. An electronic vape pen is the last thing you want to switch on while standing in water. Though a gummy is compatible, it must be eaten ahead of time, or you’ll be toweling off before the high hits.
Most bongs fit on the shower shelf along with shampoo and conditioner. You want an acrylic model, not a glass water pipe as sold by one of those self-styled boutiques since, if dropped, plastic is prone to bounce rather than break. The bowl should be stuffed with flower before stepping into the stall. Ignition can take place in the shower as long as there’s a corner where you can sidestep the deluge. Never fiddle with matches. Use one hand to flick a lighter while the other holds the bong to your mouth.
I would not recommend taking a primo variety of weed into the shower since you may want to save it for less dicey situations. A mid-grade variety is perfect. As an analogy, if you were chugging a can of beer in the shower, I’d leave the expensive imports in the fridge while grabbing a tall can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Suds to suds, as they say.
Since people are more likely to take a shower first thing in the morning rather than at 4:20 in the afternoon, the notion of showering with a bong may seem unappealing. But workers coming off a night shift may view hot showering with an indica strain as a natural way to unwind. As for those stopping at home in the early evening before heading for a night out, showering with a nice sativa could be just the ticket.
Imagine the therapeutic feeling of warm water cascading down your shoulders and backside as you take a hit. Holding the bowl away from the waterfall shouldn’t require acrobatics if the stall is modern and spacious or you’re taking a shower in a bathtub. In the latter case, you could even turn off the shower, sit in the tub and soak, knees bent to support the bong. Lean into the mouthpiece, lips pursed, and suck. Better still, if you’re sitting in water while pressing your back to the tub, turn on the bath faucets a smidgen and let the sound of the steady trickle reflect off the enamel as you meditate.
Another benefit of confining the act of getting high to the bathroom is that in households where some members frown upon such activity, you’re considerate by defining boundaries. You promise to keep the smoke in a designated space. Maybe you want to stuff a towel under the door too. Hopefully, there’s another bathroom where frowners can go to relieve themselves, at least until the smoke in your chamber of choice dissipates.
When you’re all dried off and ready to rejoin others, be sure to check the shower stall for ashes. And open the window.
The shower bong won’t make you cleaner or wiser. It won’t cause you to abandon more conventional ways to get high. But it will give you pause the next time you see someone lighting up. You’ll say to yourself: “You know, I could be taking a shower too.”
